ICYMI: My name is JimDre Westbrook, and I'm a 34-year-old virgin. I live in Las Vegas. I'm a believer of Jesus Christ but far from a saint. I'm extremely humbled and honored to receive His love, grace and mercy daily. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sharing my story of abstinence and celibacy with you. I wouldn't have this personal testimony about how awesome God is. To be honest, I don't know where I would be without Him.
One thing I do know is that waiting for sex until marriage while in high school and college was harder than any biochemistry or economics test I've ever taken. In theory, waiting sounds like the best life for everyone (I actually believe it's the best life in reality too). But when you mix raging hormones with growing up in an overlysexualized society, things get very tricky really quickly. They did for me and my boys in the early 2000s. Big time.
Senior year of high school is usually the time where certain milestones take place: Getting into college, working a job to pay for Senior Prom and losing your virginity. Depending on who you ask, losing your virginity in high school would supercede anything else, even getting into college. Among me and my best friends (Chris and Mike), we all were still on this virgin thing going into our senior year. We didn't have any girlfriends at the time (I recently ended my relationship over that summer), so we were open and available to talk to anyone. All of the girls around the city were fair game. Senior year was going to be LIT.
Now, I must admit I wasn't the best at removing all temptation from my life during this time. As a 18-year-old young man, I had the mindset that as long as I only made out with girls (and didn't engage in any sexual acts or intercourse), I was cool or "in code" with God's standards. Listen, if you know anything about God's word, there's nothing in the book that says that. However, I felt very comfortable taking this approach after it was explained to me by a local pastor. My dude said to Mike and myself after Sunday service that we shouldn't "jump into the pool entirely, but it's okay if we dip our toe in the water to get wet." Instead of listening to Kevin, I should have listened to Christ.
When Senior Prom came around, the plan was still in motion: Wait. However, something changed within a heartbeat. It finally happened. One of us had sex for the first time. It was Chris. He wanted to wait but the opportunity presented itself and there was no turning back. I never questioned or judged Chris because I knew the pressures of waiting, especially when it was so easy to engage into sexual intercourse. I understood it and continued to support my brother. A year later, the same thing happened to Mike, who was my college roommate (and best friend since 4th grade). The pact is over and then there was one... me.
Having Chris and Mike wait with me provided extra strength and courage daily. I knew back then that I didn't need them to wait with me - I only needed God. But knowing that my boys were about "that life" too meant everything to me. Now that things were different, I had to find my own way and stay true to what I believed in. I was riding solo from here on out (Hebrews 12:1-2).