Worth The Wait Guy Chronicles Ch. 21
"Fruit Plates & Foot Rubs Pt. 3"
LET IT BURN
After the first kiss between Stacey and myself, I felt something special with each kiss after that. Even though I couldn't be with Stacey physically every day (because of the long-distance between us), we showed each other love and affection in other ways.
Our two primary love languages were words of affirmation and quality time, so all of the time we spent on FaceTime meant a lot to us. We even both compared our Strength Finders tests to see if we were compatible. Stacey also enjoyed my overall approach to a relationship - she always reminded me how refreshing it was. Stacey wasn't used to my thoroughness and belief in our future together. I didn't know how to be anyone else - I've been this way for as long as I can remember.
As a new couple, Stacey initially had questions about "How did I know that she was the one for me?" I answered by saying something like "A man just knows when he's ready." Great answer, right? I also remember saying how I felt like God was lining everything up and I had faith in Him and the future of our relationship.
Prior to this, I used to pray for my future wife all the time. I created a note in my phone and recited that prayer daily faithfully. I didn't know who she was but I wanted to pray for her in advnace, just so she knows I care for her. However, when I met Stacey, I revised that prayer. She made me think about that prayer a little differently - I wanted to be more direct about what I wanted from God. My faith in God was very strong, so I just figured since Stacey checked all of my boxes on my list, she was "the one" that God wanted me to be with. FOR LIFE.
After a few months went by, Stacey and myself were in full blown relationship mode. We were texting and talking multiple times a day. We were making future plans for each other - Stacey was opening up her knit-tight personal schedule for me so we could visit one another in each other's respective cities (Atlanta and Las Vegas). On the other hand, I was opening up my entire future for Stacey because I just knew she was the one for me. During my extra-extra phase, I was that guy. I had already confessed to Stacey that my ultimate plan was to relocate to Atlanta so we could give ourselves the best chance at building something solid together. Yes, I had prior commitments in Vegas (personal and business) that would somewhat prevent me from just straight up bouncing to the A, but I knew something would shake. I had that much faith in God and my plans for Stacey that I didn't even think about "What if this isn't it for me?"
KISS OF DEATH
For my next Atlanta trip, I was really looking forward to it (a little more than usual). Not only was I going to see (and stay with) Stacey, I had an event I was hosting on the behalf of LAYOP Clothing. I was able to set up a pop-up shop at one of the hottest local streetwear sneaker boutiques in Atlanta. Because this was a big moment for LAYOP, my business partner Dre-T made the trip, along with my sister Jaz. The plan was for Dre-T to stay at a hotel and Jaz and myself would stay with Stacey.
Her house was big enough for the three of us to not be on top of each other. Jaz would have her room and space downstairs and we'd be upstairs. At this time, even though Stacey and I weren't sexually active in any way, we did sleep in the same bed whenever I visited her. I know that sounds like a big lie but it's the whole truth. I made a promise to God that the next woman I had the slightest sexual relations with would be my wife.
So, let's start from the airport. When Stacey picked me up, I couldn't wait to kiss her lips and wrap my arms around her body. Before I went outside, I made sure I reapplied some Creed cologne to my skin and that my breath was super fresh. Once I located Stacey's car, I prepared myself for that special moment. When Stacey walked towards me and we kissed each other, something was off. Like way off. It felt like someone landed a body punch to my stomach. It didn't drop me to the ground but I felt every inch of it. As we rode off to her place (my sister Jaz arrived the next day), I tried to process that kiss in my head, without starting a fight. I just arrived to the A 30 minutes ago, plus I was really hungry so being petty about a tongue kiss didn't feel right. Save it for later, Dre.
Later that night, I asked Stacey if we were good and if the relationship was moving into the right direction. She replied, "Yes, we're good, but we just need to be around each other more often." I didn't feel any type of way hearing her response because it was the truth. We did need to be around one another more often so we could build a solid foundation. But since I was so thirsty for Stacey and doing way too much too early, I didn't allow that to happen.
Once Dre-T and Jaz arrived the next day, it was game time. I had to put that kiss and weird tension between Stacey and myself in the rearview mirror. It was time to make a great first impression to the city of Atlanta. Depending on event sales, we could potentially leave our product inside the store to be sold permanently after we leave for Vegas. The team was ready to sell and get it done. FYI Atlanta is a mini-Saginaw, so we had some of everyone pull up, come through and show us mad love. The local street dudes also showed love, which impressed the managers of the sneaker stores. Stacey came to the event with King and Denise (the newlyweds) and wore her LAYOP sweater... she looked good! After the event and we counted up our money, we cut a deal with the store to keep our products in the ATL. Mission Complete!
DEAL WITH IT
Now that the business event was over, I felt it was time to talk to Stacey about everything. I asked Jaz if she could give us some extra space and not hang out with us for a few hours. Jaz understood and hung out with some college friends. Stacey and I went around town to explore Atlanta and just talk. I was finally going to get the opportunity I wanted since that airport kiss. I really felt like this conversation was going to make or break us because I knew something was going on and Stacey wasn't telling me. So, when I asked about it for the 3rd time that weekend, she had the same exact response. Stacey claimed we just needed to spend more time with each other but if that was the case, why wasn't she asking her usual questions about us?
Stacey's questions now had more to do with me and my career future = "What are you going to do once you get back to Vegas?" Stacey knew that I was an entrepreneur and made good money as a VIP Table Busser in Vegas, but she almost acted like that wasn't good enough. That concerned me because I totally understood that dating an entrepreneur wasn't for everyone. I didn't trip about it but I kept it in the back of my head, thinking that Stacey might not be down with my five-year plan of grinding until I make it.
I hopped on a bird the next day and still left confused as ever. My heart was heavy because I could see my relationship crumbling right in front of me. I was extremely emotional as I cried to God to help me get out of this situation. I prayed for grace and guidance as he showed me which way to go: Be a better a man for Stacey and figure things out or be a better man by being without Stacey. This was not an easy thing to do but it had to be done. Either way, I was prepared to talk with Stacey about our future moving forward.
Stacey texted me the next morning and as I read the text message, it finally knew it was a wrap. The text message was dry, plain and emotionless. She wanted to see if I was available to chat later that evening and we scheduled a call. That entire day I knew it was going down. So, when I called her and asked her, "You good?," she replied with a shaky, "No, I'm not good." The next 10-15 minutes of the conversation was about how Stacey wanted to end our relationship. Luckily for me, I saw this coming a mile away and had already dealt with my feelings towards this situation.
So ultimately, I was fine with the decision she made. What I had an issue with was the execution of the breakup, especially after I spent 4 straight days in Atlanta staying with Stacey. It wasn't like I was staying at the Four Seasons or The W in Midtown and catching Lyft rides to see Stacey. I was staying inside her house and riding in her car for 4 straight days. That didn't set well with me and I expressed that to Stacey. I wasn't looking for her to take me back. I just felt like I deserved a little more respect aka break up with me in-person. But that wasn't the way Stacey played it. She claimed she was uncertain about her dilemma and needed the weekend end to confirm her final decision.
Once Stacey made her mind up, she texted me and the rest was history. We had plans to spend time together in 2 weeks in Vegas, so that clearly wasn't going to happen. We were done. I took a quick moment to talk to God about everything and I vowed to myself to NEVER AGAIN chase a woman like I did with Stacey. I had to switch up my game plan ASAP because this was not a good look for me. King, Chris and Mike couldn't believe that Stacey broke up with me the way she did. They all 3 had my back and supported me through the break up. I told them to not worry about me because I knew this situation would make me a better man moving forward... it had to happen. Thank God it did.