DeVon Franklin: 5 Issues for Singles to Consider Before Committing to Marriage
In a recent mass email blast, minister and filmmaker DeVon Franklin listed five issues he believes single people should consider before deciding to get married.
Franklin is responsible for the Box Office hits, "Miracles From Heaven" and "Heaven Is for Real." In 2015, he and his wife, actress Meagan Good, released a best selling book titled, The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love.
In their own relationship, the couple followed the biblical ordinance of intimacy by waiting until they were married to have sex and their book encouraged others to do the same. Since then, the traveling preacher has focused on offering advice to singles to help them enter into marriage with the right expectations.
"Sometimes we're just not ready for it emotionally," he wrote first in the email blast titled "Reasons Not To Commit." "There's still some work we need to do on ourselves, some personal heavy lifting that demands our focus and sacrifice for a while longer."
Franklin went on to list some other reasons to not marry someone. Second on the list he explained that timing is a key factor in commitment.
"Reluctance to commit often comes from a deep knowing that it's just not time," he wrote. "And that person you're aching for? If that person is who God has set up for you, he or she will be there when you're ready."
Although he is big on waiting until marriage to be intimate, Franklin said people should not be in a realtionship just because the other person is willing to wait.
"Another reason to hesitate is because you realize you've chosen a person because she or he was willing to wait—and not much else," he continued. "Giving up sex for you is a wonderful thing, but you can't build a relationship on that alone."
Adding, "You shouldn't commit because of pressure or fear that you're falling behind, either. Don't rush into a commitment because everybody else is doing it. The people who pressure us into marriage are often the same ones who ask, 'Why didn't it work out?'"
Finally, the 40-year-old warned couples not to commit to marriage just to make someone else happy.
"You also should never commit because it's what someone else wants," he urged. "When you make a decision just to please someone else, you will always make the wrong decision."
Earlier in the year, Franklin also wrote more information in a post titled, "When Should I Commit?" The listed an additional five points of advice. Franklin talked about the importance of passion in a relationship despite not being intimate, he also detailed the danger of cohabiting, and shared why he believes people should not commit.
Although some Christians practice not even kissing before marriage, Franklin encouraged couples to show some form of affection toward each other.
He advised, "Just because you practice The Wait doesn't guarantee you're going to have a great sex life when you get married. So, don't be afraid to kiss each other or hold each other, because if there isn't passion chemistry, this is a red flag that you'll need to address."
When it comes to living together, the Hollywood preacher stated that it's essential to "avoid acting like you're married before you actually are." He explained that doing that "establishes expectations that can become impossible to live up to."
The last piece of advice Franklin shared in the blog were reasons to not commit to marriage.
"Once The Wait is over, you still need someone with whom you're compatible in every way, and compatibility goes far beyond the desire to abstain from sex.
There's no shame in going a distance down the road with someone only to decide that long-term commitment isn't best. It may be painful, but eventually you'll both realize that it was for the best," Franklin concluded.